Can I really help out?

As this semester moves along, I am finding it difficult to stay motivated.  I love to write and I do believe deep down that I can help out with the writing center, but I have been facing some self-doubt about my writing which in turn has me questioning 2 things:

1. Whether I actually can write?

2. Can I actually help others to write?

I have always believed that I could write and over the past year, that belief has been reinforced by others.  It is one reason that I was encouraged to apply for the Writing Center.  But this semester, writings that I believe to be up to par are being picked apart in one of my classes.  I am having a tough time being ripped apart, as I am used to getting good grades on my writing assignments.  It has really gotten in my head and now I am questioning my writing.  It is to the point to where I don't feel confident with any writing assignment period.  The professor that has me so indecisive has told me that my grades will get better as the semester moves along.  But I fear that it could dramatically affect my writing in a negative way.  And with my concerns over my writing ability, I am starting to wonder if I am qualified to help others with their writing, as I currently believe that I cannot write myself.

But I am going to persevere and fight this doubt that tries to creep into my head.  A good friend of mine told me that I will learn a lot about myself and how I am defined by the way that I approach this situation.  I fully agree...I can either give up and give in to my self-destructiveness or stand up and prove myself to be a great writer.  I have decided that I am not going to give up and I am going to show my professor that I am a damn great writer!

As far as the Writing Center goes, I feel as if there are only a few people that I can actually approach with any problems or concerns that I have.  I don’t even know everyone and those I know by face seem to look at me with disdain.  It seems that some of my fellow consultants are either shy or do not wish to speak to me…I am hoping that it is the former and not the latter.

But I am learning a lot from watching consultations, mainly in the nonverbal communication that occurs between the consultant and the writer.  All the consultants are good at setting aside any personal matters that might be causing them to have a bad day in order to assist the writer.  They seem to be able to put on a ‘game face’ which is something that I hope I will be able to do as I go forward.

I also am learning the importance of knowing where to look for answers when I might not know the correct answer off the top of my head.  I definitely will ask for help when I feel that I need it.  I have made some mistakes already just while helping writers set up appointments, so I definitely will not get overconfident of my abilities.  Humility is something that I know well. 

I look forward to getting better at writing and learning how to help other writers overcome their own confidence issues.  Maybe I can share the knowledge I gain from my issues with other writers.  Actually, that is exactly what I am going to do as I move forward.

Getting better as I go

     So, here I am again at the end of a week discussing the previous week's experiences while attending English 303 and learning the ropes at the BSU Writing Center.  What a week, it has been!  I have been fortunate enough to spend extra time in the writing center other than my assigned times, which are Wednesdays from 10-12 and Fridays from 11-12. I began my internship process by completing the Career Center's Internship Workshop on line and emailing the results to Professor Willerton.  I felt very ecstatic to learn that I only missed one question so I must have done something right.  I am becoming proficient at my coffee making skills in the Writing Center, so I am making progress.  

I have become more proficient at my skills entering consultant session information into the writer database, and filing consultation files away.  Luckily, I am proficient at alphabetizing after many years of extensive training.  And I am very intrigued by the wealth of books and information available at the center geared toward better writing.  I personally want to gain more experience using APA and Chicago style formatting, as I have only actually used MLA in my year of collegiate experience.  So, when I do have free time, I can focus on learning writing skills by perusing the wealth of information available at the center.  And I can pick the brains of the more experienced consultants who have been there and done that.

As well as student self-development, I have the opportunity to observe consultation sessions between seasoned consultants and student writers, in order to see how experienced consultants conduct themselves and handle writers’ questions during the session.  I have been lucky enough to sit in on three different consultations during the last week and saw three very different styles of consulting.  My first session was with Kelsey and a student who was to write a reading response on Beowulf.  He wanted clarification on how to figure out his outline and for some help in getting ideas about how he should approach his paper.  I noticed that Kelsey displayed lots of body language that encouraged the writer’s participation, and she did a great job of actively listening to him.  The trick, in my opinion, is to help the writer develop confidence and guide them through proper questioning techniques into realizing what they need to do on their own.  It may sound sneaky, but you want to give them ideas while making them think they came up with the ideas by themselves.  Kelsey used lots of eye contact and asked relevant questions while inviting the writer to feel comfortable enough to express his true opinions without fear of being judged. She read over the syllabus with the student and prompted him to freely throw out ideas, which helped him narrow the focus of his paper down.

My next consultation was with Carmen.  She was working with a student who was very uncomfortable and lacked confidence in his writing.  His task was a self-assessment of his writing style for Eng 101.  Carmen read over the syllabus and asked questions of the writer in order to help him identify the requirements that his instructor was looking for.  She also used eye contact and her expressions/nonverbal communication made the writer feel at ease.  The most impressive thing that I believed she did was to have the writer read a previous story from Eng 101 that he had written.  From this, she was able to point out positive things that he had accomplished with the story and helped him to realize that he was pretty good at this whole ‘writing thing’.  She also helped him to freely throw out ideas on the direction that he wanted his current assignment to take.  He left the consultation feeling much better about his skills as a writer.

My last observation was with Nick and a writer who is a regular at the Writing Center.  It was interesting as it was my first opportunity to witness a consultation with and ESL writer.  Since the writer had seen Nick before, there was an obvious comfort level there and Nick did a great job of encouraging the writer in his progress.  Nick mainly focused on some grammatical errors and explained how terms are used differently in American literature and society.  Nick helped the writer figure out the assignment which was a Comm 101 assignment and helped clarify some communication terms, such as ‘ambushing’. 

I really enjoy seeing the different styles of consultants and am learning little things that I like from each consultant that I plan to incorporate into my ‘writing consultant toolbox’.  I feel as if I am only going to get better and look forward to seeing other consultants in action.

First week in the Writing Center

     As this week began, I was apprehensive about actually working in the Writing Center.  My appointed time to work in the Writing Center was from 10 am until noon on Wednesday.  As I began the week, I could not avoid the specter of 'THE WRITING CENTER'.  I was unsure of what to expect, which is one thing that I absolutely despise!  My time in the military has made me very regimented and I need some structure in my life in order to feel complete.  With this being said, it might be easier for you to figure out why I was anxious to get my initial day in the Center behind me.  But before that time came, I had to make it through Monday and Tuesday. 

      Monday was not a big deal for me, as I only had to worry about my TA office hours and Spanish 101.  Tuesday, however, is my busiest day.  My Tuesdays consist of an early start because I am a TA in Psychology 101, which starts at 0740.  Once that class is complete, I them proceed to American Political Theory, followed by our English 303 class.  It is in this class that I plan to get more comfortable with my role as a Writing Center Consultant.  The biggest problem that we face in English 303 for the moment is the lack of a permanent classroom.  There have been logistical problems which have forced moving around, but I am confident that Melissa will take good care of us!  I also find some of the reading challenging, as I am new to the whole writing center concept.  But our discussions in Eng 303 help me to come to a better understanding of how writing centers work.  I find that all of my fellow students in Eng 303 are really nice people and I truly believe that we all share a love of writing and helping others to be better writers. We all seem to have the same dry humor, which makes class interesting!  Melissa keeps the discussion relevant and I am learning many things I did not realize before, such as the difference between tutors and consultants.  Once Eng 303 is over, I go to my News Writing and Reporting class.  This class helps reiterate some of the basic grammar skills that I am learning in Eng 303.  Finally, I head to Spanish 101, which can possibly help me in the future as I help out ESL (English as a Second Language) students.  As I look at the big picture, it is amazing how all of these classes actually relate to one another in some strange, yet relevant way.  

     Wednesday finally arrived and it was time for me to face the unknown!  I arrived at the Writing Center and was immediately relieved to see some of the people that I actually know, such as Heath and Sierra (from Eng 303), Nick and Amanda.  This had the effect of reassuring me that this could be a good thing!  After securing my nametag and putting away my gear, I talked to Amanda, who was nice enough to show Heath and I how to schedule appointments in the computer for students.  Then, Heath and I learned how to annotate consultant meeting notes into the computer and file the student folders away.  Finally, Heath and I made coffee and marveled at how slowly the coffee brewed. I mean, it was like watching paint dry…painful.  This exercise concluded my first day in the Writing Center.  Anticlimactic, to say the least!  But, it was a solid foundation upon which to build my knowledge and experience.  

     On Thursday, I learned more about rhetorical grammar than I ever cared to know.  But it was fun, as we learned it in a fun exercise known as Chuck Norris Rhetorical Grammar Jeopardy(ish)!!  I was blessed to be on the team that included Zack and Kate, who carried my sorry behind to a win!!  Kate is a genius at this whole rhetorical grammar stuff!!  Then, as if Karma was mocking me, I went to News Writing and Reporting and we went over-(yep, you guessed it) rhetorical grammar.  I guess someone thought that I needed extra practice!!  And my second day in the Writing Center (Friday), I actually had the opportunity to observe a consultation as Kelsey went over an English essay concerning Beowulf with a student. The consultation was a great learning experience for me and it was interesting to watch Kelsey work with the student and coax him to come up with his own ideas about how he should write it.  Masterful!!  As I watched the consultation, I could only wish that I would be that good one day.  

    

     This week was good for me, as I experienced firsthand what the Writing Center environment is really like and now I have a much better understanding of what is expected of me.  With a loose grasp of the actions required of me, I am now looking forward to my next opportunity to work in the center.

Have a great Labor Day!!