Can I really help out?

As this semester moves along, I am finding it difficult to stay motivated.  I love to write and I do believe deep down that I can help out with the writing center, but I have been facing some self-doubt about my writing which in turn has me questioning 2 things:

1. Whether I actually can write?

2. Can I actually help others to write?

I have always believed that I could write and over the past year, that belief has been reinforced by others.  It is one reason that I was encouraged to apply for the Writing Center.  But this semester, writings that I believe to be up to par are being picked apart in one of my classes.  I am having a tough time being ripped apart, as I am used to getting good grades on my writing assignments.  It has really gotten in my head and now I am questioning my writing.  It is to the point to where I don't feel confident with any writing assignment period.  The professor that has me so indecisive has told me that my grades will get better as the semester moves along.  But I fear that it could dramatically affect my writing in a negative way.  And with my concerns over my writing ability, I am starting to wonder if I am qualified to help others with their writing, as I currently believe that I cannot write myself.

But I am going to persevere and fight this doubt that tries to creep into my head.  A good friend of mine told me that I will learn a lot about myself and how I am defined by the way that I approach this situation.  I fully agree...I can either give up and give in to my self-destructiveness or stand up and prove myself to be a great writer.  I have decided that I am not going to give up and I am going to show my professor that I am a damn great writer!

As far as the Writing Center goes, I feel as if there are only a few people that I can actually approach with any problems or concerns that I have.  I don’t even know everyone and those I know by face seem to look at me with disdain.  It seems that some of my fellow consultants are either shy or do not wish to speak to me…I am hoping that it is the former and not the latter.

But I am learning a lot from watching consultations, mainly in the nonverbal communication that occurs between the consultant and the writer.  All the consultants are good at setting aside any personal matters that might be causing them to have a bad day in order to assist the writer.  They seem to be able to put on a ‘game face’ which is something that I hope I will be able to do as I go forward.

I also am learning the importance of knowing where to look for answers when I might not know the correct answer off the top of my head.  I definitely will ask for help when I feel that I need it.  I have made some mistakes already just while helping writers set up appointments, so I definitely will not get overconfident of my abilities.  Humility is something that I know well. 

I look forward to getting better at writing and learning how to help other writers overcome their own confidence issues.  Maybe I can share the knowledge I gain from my issues with other writers.  Actually, that is exactly what I am going to do as I move forward.